How Private People Use Social Media

As PR people go, I may be more privacy-minded than most. Yes, I’m on Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.  I have this website and this blog and a Vlog.

For the past few decades, I’ve spent most of my waking moments trying to get my clients, my organizations and sometimes myself visibility in the media and other places.

Yet for me there has always been a constant, which is that I’ve maintained very clear lines between my personal privacy and my work life.  To be sure, the arrival of the digital age has challenged that balance from time to time. Still, for the most part I can’t complain, and I know there are many, many people just like me.

That’s why it can be a huge mistake on the part of professional communicators to make snap judgements about demographics, consumer tastes, or public attitudes on certain issues primarily on the basis of what they see on social media. Unfortunately, many communicators base their decision-making on what’s trending on social media.  Unbeknownst to them, for all the analytics and machine-learning that’s out there prying into our online habits, there is still a vast amount of information you don’t see online and will never see.

With this in mind, using myself as a point of reference, I think I can tell you a little about how private people use social media.

We don’t post pictures.

I have one official photo of myself for all social media. It’s me in a suit and jacket with a tie. While I hardly ever wear a tie, you wouldn’t know that from my photo, and I’m fine with that. It’s a good photo, it’s accurate, and if we meet in business, that’s how I will look to you.

What you won’t see are photos of my family, of my vacations, of my Father’s Day party. As much as I admire people who post these things on their own social media pages (I really do), I find that as a private person, less is more for me. Along these same lines, I’ve become notorious among friends and family for making sure they “un-tag” me from any photos they post online.

While most of my reasons are rooted in my personal comfort level with privacy, I have also learned that in my line of work, some duplicitous orgs are not beyond searching the social media pages of their targets and their targets’ PR consultants to fabricate a narrative and create propaganda.

We don’t share personal tastes online.

Over the years, I’ve posted thousands of tweets, hundreds and hundreds (maybe thousands) of LinkedIn and Facebook posts, and any number of blog posts, and if that’s how you know me you probably won’t know my favorite foods, music, vacation spots, beverages, celebrities or movies.

What you will learn from my social media feed is I’m all about communications and business and to a lesser extent pop culture as it intersects with communications and business. I like football, baseball and college basketball. And every now and then, usually around a holiday, I’ll wax sentimental about my country, American history, Irish heritage and family.

I’ve been told that when I use social media to spout off about the terrible season the Pittsburgh Pirates are having, that’s called “social signaling.”  In other words, it’s there to let you know I have a life, too.  That sounds about right.

Private people don’t share tidbits from our own conversations or encounters.

Private people value our privacy so much that we wouldn’t think of repeating things other people say to us or around us.

I was reminded of this recently when I came across a social feed of a business person who apparently thinks it’s cute to share things he’s overheard at his workplace – usually comments that border on tastelessness.

That’s the kind of thing that makes private people like me a little queasy on a number of levels. First, even if you don’t attribute the words, you’re positioning yourself as a gossip, and your gossip is not reflecting well on you or your work environment.

Second, what seems harmless and fun to you on social media (outrageously funny?), can easily offend people you’ve never met but may want to meet some day. Is a little snark and crudeness worth turning off that potential client or employer without you ever knowing it?

But third and most important, our most valued currency is trust. Our clients, our coworkers, our management teams and other colleagues have to know they can trust us, and they’re more likely to trust those who practice discretion.  In the end, that’s what it’s all about. Privacy on social media is all about discretion. And discretion is all about trust.

So, why are private people on social media, anyway?

I’ll give you my answer in the hopes it’s on par with many other private people who use social media. While everyone’s reason may vary, this may provide some insight.

Because I’m in the public relations business, I do it because it’s my work. I need to know as much as possible about how social media works even if I’m not a fanatical “broadcaster” on social media myself. More importantly, I need to have a solid understanding of human behavior online. This is critical to what I do for a living.

I have found news feeds to be tremendously helpful at staying abreast of the latest news, information and trends.  I keep up with others, I keep up with my industry, with new developments, with my clients’ industries and competitors. Oftentimes when I post, I’m actually experimenting with a  strategy, a message or an approach.  I’m gauging reaction to what I post.  And not all of my posts are from my own accounts. I am very active on social media as the operator of other accounts.

So, the next time you see that Facebook headshot of the guy in the suit and tie, or the woman in business attire at a conference, consider this. Maybe, just maybe, they are not all-work-and-no-play. It’s quite possible that they believe the best stuff is kept offline. Sometimes a photo doesn’t say more than a couple of words, and that’s for the best.

Also published on Medium.

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