When I was younger in my adult life, one of my friends from the blue-collar neighborhood where I grew up had landed a good job as a union tradesman. We met at one of our old haunts over a beer and talked about anything and everything but nothing important, really. But towards the end of our conversation, I brought up a local political race that I knew he’d have an opinion about.
The candidate for the Republicans represented everything I knew he had supported throughout his life. And the candidate for the Democrats pretty much opposed everything I knew my friend cared about. For me, this was a test of sorts. I wanted to see where he stood just out of curiosity.
“I gotta go with my union,” he told me as he explained why he was voting for the Democrat. More to the point, he not only openly framed his vote as in line with his union’s priorities, but he delivered what appeared to be a 10-minute heartfelt speech on behalf of the Democrat centered on every one of the candidate’s own key messages. My friend had internalized all of it and had no idea he’d done so. He truly thought these were his own opinions articulated in words of his own choosing.
My take after our conversation was this. My friend took his lead from his union, which he stated clearly, and through a mixture of confirmation bias and cognitive dissonance had convinced himself that the candidate’s key messaging and the union’s endorsement were separate and distinct from his own beliefs, when to me it was obvious they were anything but. I had already been working in the field of communications for a few years prior to this, and I could spot regurgitated talking points from a mile away.
The conversation didn’t go any further, and I didn’t share any of my observations with him because in the end it doesn’t matter. We’re still friends and no political discussion is going to get in the way of that.
Your Opinions are Not Your Own
Still, if you are into communications, this is a blatant example that our opinions are more than likely assigned to us instead of rising up organically from within us. One reason is often practical. We really don’t have time to research every issue or news story under the sun. So, we trust others to do some of that and tell us what they think, and then we may adopt that point of view.
Any married couple can attest to this. In our house, I’m the IT guy by default. I’m the one who does all the research and deals with computer issues, or phone issues, or anything technical like that. My wife defers to me on that stuff. It’s one thing she doesn’t have to bother herself with. So, if someone were to ask her what the best computer is, she might say, “Dell PC,” because that’s the brand I’ve settled on for us. On the other hand, my wife is the Chief Financial Officer in our household. So, if anyone were to ask me which is the best bank or bank credit card, I might say a Visa card from one of our town’s bigger banks, not because I did any research at all, but because I’ve deferred to my wife’s judgement. That’s one thing I don’t have to worry about.
The fact is, there are maybe a handful of topics over which you are willing to really dig in and do your own research. Otherwise, you will more than likely have your opinions assigned to you by someone else. On public matters, often that “someone else” is the news media or digital and social media. Or it may happen through your profession, or some club, or organization, or church to which you belong.
But make no mistake, some ideas are assigned to you.
Take This Quiz
If this piques your interest, then take this three-question quiz and think about your responses:
Does everyone you know agree with you on a given news topic, political or social issue?
Do all of your news sources and social media feeds reinforce these same positions without exception?
Do you find yourself sometimes supporting something that you normally wouldn’t support, or do you oppose something you normally wouldn’t oppose if it were not for the idea that most people you know support or oppose that thing? In other words, do you sense you may be following the herd against your own better instincts?
If you answered “yes” to any one of these questions, chances are you are living within a bubble where you have allowed others to assign your opinions to you. If you answered “yes” to all three, there is no doubt that a good number of your thoughts and opinions are not organically your own and you are allowing others to think for you.
What’s the solution?
Get out of your bubble. Talk to people who don’t agree with the majority of your friends and colleagues and do so with an open mind. You may not agree with them, but you should find a way to truly understand where they are coming from and why they see the merits of their views.
Then, of course, do your own research from multiple sources. Follow some news sources that are the opposite of what you follow now and try to understand where they are coming from.
And if you feel like you could be following the crowd on some matters, and this represents a marked change for you, you should stop and reflect. Decide if you really want to do that, or if you need to do some things to get back to who you feel you really are.