How Private People Use Social Media
"Publication is a self-invasion of privacy." - Marshall McLuhan
As PR people go, I may be more privacy-minded than most. Yes, I’m on X/Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn. I have this website and this blog and a podcast.
For the past few decades, I’ve spent most of my waking moments trying to get my clients, my organizations and sometimes myself visibility in the media and other places.
Yet for me there has always been a constant, which is that I’ve maintained very clear lines between my personal privacy and my work life. To be sure, the digital age in which we live has challenged that balance from time to time. Still, for the most part I can’t complain, and I know there are many, many people just like me.
That’s why it can be a huge mistake on the part of professional communicators to make snap judgements about demographics, consumer tastes, or public attitudes on certain issues primarily on the basis of what they see on social media. Unfortunately, many communicators base their decision-making on what’s trending on social media. Unbeknownst to them, for all the analytics and AI that’s out there prying into our online habits, there is still a vast amount of information you don’t see online and will never see.
With this in mind, using myself as a point of reference, I think I can tell you a little about how private people use social media.
We don’t post pictures.
I have very few photos of myself that I post on social media. What you won’t see are hardly any photos of my family, of my vacations, a night out, or my birthday party. As much as I admire people who post these things on their own social media pages (I really do), I find that as a private person, less is more for me. Along these same lines, I’ve become notorious among friends and family for making sure they “un-tag” me from any photos they post online.
While most of my reasons are rooted in my personal comfort level with privacy, I have also learned that in my line of work, some duplicitous orgs are not beyond searching the social media pages of their targets and their targets’ PR consultants to fabricate a narrative (yes, this has happened to me).
We don’t share personal tastes online.
Over the years, I’ve posted thousands of posts on social media, over 350 podcast episodes, and any number of blog posts. And if that’s how you know me you probably won’t know my favorite foods, music, vacation spots, beverages, celebrities or movies. In fact, you really don’t know me. That’s intentional.
What you will learn from my social media feed is I’m all about communications and business and to a lesser extent our culture as it intersects with communications and business. I like football, baseball and college basketball. And every now and then, usually around a holiday, I’ll wax sentimental about my country, American history, Irish heritage and family.
I’ve been told that when I use social media to spout off about the terrible season the Pittsburgh Pirates are having, I’m “social signaling.” In other words, it’s there just to let you know I have a life, too. That sounds about right.
We don’t share tidbits from conversations or encounters.
Private people value our privacy so much that we wouldn’t think of repeating things other people say to us or around us.
I was reminded of this once when I came across a social feed of a businessperson who apparently thinks it’s cute to share things he’s overheard at his workplace – usually comments that border on tastelessness.
That’s the kind of thing that makes private people like me a little queasy on a number of levels. First, even if you don’t attribute the words, you’re positioning yourself as a gossip, and your gossip is not reflecting well on you or your work environment.
Second, what seems harmless and fun to you on social media, can easily offend people you’ve never met but may want to meet some day. Is a little snark and crudeness worth turning off that potential client or employer without you ever knowing it?
But third and most important, our most valued currency is trust. Our clients, our coworkers, our management teams and other colleagues have to know they can trust us, and they’re more likely to trust those who practice discretion. In the end, that’s what it’s all about. Privacy on social media is all about discretion. And discretion is all about trust.
We don’t want to be tracked.
There was that one time I was almost the victim of a phishing attack. The link I clicked on was not only harmless-looking, but the very reason I clicked on it was because it was consistent with a project I was in the middle of at that very minute. In a rush to get things done, it only hit me that as I was in the act of pressing on the link, I knew it was a mistake. To make a long story short, I cleaned up my digital footprint that very minute. Since then, I’ve fortified my digital presence and adopted a number of very cautious best practices when doing anything online, which includes texting.
So, why are private people on social media, anyway?
I’ll give you my answer in the hopes it’s on par with many other private people who use social media. While everyone’s reason may vary, this may provide some insight.
Because I’m in the public relations business, I do it because it’s my work. I need to know as much as possible about how social media works even if I’m not a fanatical “sharer” on social media myself. More importantly, I need to have a solid understanding of human behavior online. This is critical to what I do for a living.
I have found news feeds to be tremendously helpful at staying abreast of the latest news, information and trends. I keep up with others, I keep up with my industry, with new developments, with my clients’ industries and competitors. Oftentimes when I post, I’m actually experimenting with a strategy, a message or an approach. I’m gauging reaction to what I post. And not all of my posts are from my own accounts. I am active on social media as the operator of multiple accounts.
So, the next time you see that Facebook headshot of the guy in the suit and tie, or the woman in business attire at a conference, consider this. Maybe, just maybe, they are not all-work-and-no-play. It’s quite possible that they just believe the best stuff is kept offline. Sometimes a photo doesn’t say more than a couple of words, and that’s for the best.